You Can’t Lead – Guest Post From Mark Miller

This post was originally published on Friday, May 16, 2014 at




I was recently asked the question: How do you tell someone they are not a leader – without crushing them?


I have several ideas that may help with this question, but first, I want to relieve you of the anxiety you may be feeling regarding how someone will receive truth. You cannot control, nor should you assume responsibility for, their response. Your role is to share truth in love. They choose their response.

With that backdrop, I have four suggestions…

Always show honor, dignity and respect. Choose your words carefully. Try not to inflame the situation with trigger words or exaggeration. Even if the person cannot lead, they still possess immense value as a human being. Being in the wrong role does not diminish a person’s value. Treat them accordingly.

Ask thoughtful questions. Find out what they believe about their leadership quotient. You may be surprised. They may already be aware of their leadership gaps. It’s also possible they have huge blind spots. If they do believe they are leading well, ask them for their definition of leadership. Ask them to give you examples in which they feel they’ve lead well.

Pinpoint the issues and concerns. After you know where they stand on the issue, be prepared to share your point-of-view. Be specific – vague statements such as, “You just can’t lead,” are not helpful. If you have a clear point-of-view on leadership, it’s much easier to pinpoint your concerns. Is the predominant issue a skill gap or have you detected issues regarding their leadership character? Both can be addressed, however, the action plans are very different.

Tell the truth. Your integrity is on the line in this conversation. Don’t sugarcoat the truth – that’s just another form of dishonesty. When we choose not to tell the truth, we ultimately hurt the person, the organization and our own leadership. If a person is on the wrong career path, you do him or her a great service by redirecting them. Truth is a leader’s best friend.

What’s next after a conversation like this? You get to decide. Your next steps will be affected by how far along you are on this journey. Is this the first time you’ve discussed the issue with this person? Is it the third time? If you’re early in the dialogue, you may want to help the person build a development plan to close the leadership gap. If you’re late in the game, you may need to talk about a transition plan.


mmMark Miller, Vice President of Organizational Effectiveness for Chick-fil-A, believes that leadership is not something that’s exclusive; within the grasp of an elite few, but beyond the reach of everyone else.  In the tenth anniversary edition of The Secret, Miller reminds readers of a seemingly contradictory concept: to lead is to serve. With more than 600,000 books in print, Mark has been surprised by the response and delighted to serve leaders through his writing.

The 10th anniversary edition of The Secret will be released September 2, 2014.

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Posted by on September 2, 2014 in Uncategorized


Burger King, John Piper, & Worldview

I honestly thought about titling this post “Goodbye John Piper” but wisdom and an already nervous state about the reaction as to what I am about to write convinced me otherwise. You see through the rest of the post I am going to be calling out and correcting someone that has influenced and impacted my theology and preaching more than just about anyone. I also highly suspect he will continue to positively influence and impact my life and ministry after this. However a recent tweet by John Piper showed just how badly we as Christians don’t get it at times.

The tweet in question simply said “Goodbye Burger King” and included a link to an article about a new Whopper burger and its wrapping. The tweet echoed a similar tweet from Dr. Piper that almost crashed the internet, at least for evangelicals. The tweet “Farewell Rob Bell” was posted in late February 2011 and caused a firestorm in blogs, sermons, books, articles, interviews and others that centered on a response or reaction to Bell’s book Love Wins. I weighed in on that issue on this blog and in sermons at the time. It was a big deal. Bell was attempting to rewrite the history of Christian thought and theology and challenging the very nature of what we believe about God and eternity. But is the issue with Burger King as serious.

Well what is the issue? Burger King is releasing the Proud Whopper which will feature rainbow colored packaging and promote the LGBT agenda. I am not sure this is a good business move by the fast food chain, however I live in the Bible Belt South and this move will play worse here than in other parts of the country. Whether you should eat that particular burger or any food from the chain is between you, God, how you read 1 Corinthians, and your cardiologist. My issue and where I think Piper misses it is in response to the tagline that the Burger chain is attaching to this promotion. That tag line is “we are all the same inside”. Their focus is that no matter the wrapper, their whopper is the same inside, and then the associated extrapolating of that thought onto humans.   You know what, they are right! We are all the same inside. We are all totally depraved humans in desperate need of God to save us. I think this is where we should focus our efforts in response to this news. Instead of weeping or calling for boycotts or doing any of the other silly things we do as Christians, how about we respond with love, tell them they are right in what they are saying, and then tell them how they are right about it.


Posted by on July 7, 2014 in Culture, Current Events, Theology


Todd’s Spicy Dirty Red Beans & Rice

Todd’s Spicy Dirty Red Beans & Rice

I thought for the fun of it I would put a recent recipe I created on my blog. I hope you enjoy this.

Todd’s Spicy Dirty Red Beans & Rice


  • 1 lb extra lean Ground Meat
  • 1 Package Sausage
  • 2 Cups Dry Rice
  • o    4 Cups Water
  • o    4 Teaspoons Butter
  • 1 lb. Red Beans
  • 3 Cups Water
  • 1 Rib Celery
  • 2 Tablespoons Onion Powder
  • 1 Cup Minced Garlic
  • 2 Tablespoons Parsley
  • 1 Crushed Large Bay Leaf ½ Teaspoon Cavenders All Purpose Greek Seasoning
  • Sea Salt
  • Ground Black Pepper
  • Garlic Powder
  • Ground Cumin
  • Ground White Pepper
  • Ground Cayenne Pepper
  • Rajun Cajun All Purpose Cajun Seasoning
  • Louisiana Hot Sauce
  • Tony Chachere’s Original Creole Seasoning
  • Lawry’s Seasoned Salt



  • Beans
  • o    Wash the beans
  • o    Soak red beans in beer (overnight).
  • o    Drain the beans
  • o    Cook Beans in water 1 ½ – 2 hours
  • o    Add In
  • Onion Powder
  • Garlic
  • Celery
  • Rice
  • o    Combine water and butter in pot.
  • o    Boil water
  • o    Add in Rice
  • o    Season Rice
  • ½ Teaspoon Cavenders All Purpose Greek Seasoning
  • ½ Teaspoon Sea Salt
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
  • ½ Teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground Cumin
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground White Pepper
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground Cayenne Pepper
  • ½ Teaspoon Rajun Cajun All Purpose Cajun Seasoning
  • o    Simmer for 20 minutes
  • o    After 20 minutes stir in 1 Tablespoon Louisiana Hot Sauce


  • Meat (I like to use a combination of breakfast sausage, ground beef, and deer meat)
  • o    Season the meat
  • ¼ Cup Louisiana Hot Sauce
  • 1 Tablespoon Sea Salt
  • 1 Tablespoon Ground Black Pepper
  • 1 Tablespoon Lawry’s Seasoned Salt
  • ½ Tablespoon Cavenders All Purpose Greek Seasoning
  • ½ Tablespoon Rajun Cajun All Purpose Cajun Seasoning
  • ½ Tablespoon Tony Chachere’s Original Creole Seasoning
  • 1 Teaspoon Ground Cummin
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground White Pepper
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground Red Pepper
  • ½ Teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • ½ Teaspoon Ground Mustard
  • o    Work seasoning into meat by hand
  • o    Spray or coat skillet with olive oil
  • o    Brown the ground meat
  • Combine the meat and rice together
  • When beans finish combine the meat & rice and the beans into a crock pot
  • Add water
  • Add in Parsley
  • Add in Crushed Bay Leaf


  • Sausage
  • o    Brown sausage in olive oil in skillet
  • o    Cut up sausage
  • o    Stir into crockpot
  • Cook in crockpot on low for 8-10 hours.


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Posted by on June 19, 2014 in Recipes


Crying Abba

My daughter,IMG_2136 Lorelai, is 18 months old and is the cutest most adorable and lovable little girl ever. When her older brother, Bowman, was born I was not sure how I would be as a dad, but both of my children have captured my heart and I love them dearly. Being a dad has taught me so much.


Recently Lorelai has started screaming my name whenever I get home from work and running to me saying “DADDY”. This got me to thinking about how we relate to God a lot of the time. When Lorelai runs to me she just knows I am her daddy. She doesn’t know how I am her dad and what went on biologically for me to be her dad. She just knows I am her daddy. She does not know how I work to make money to pay bills and buy groceries and diapers and clothes and toys for her and her brother. She just knows I am her daddy. She doesn’t know how I watch my diet and stay active and healthy to be around a long time for her. She just knows I am her daddy. You see to her the whys and the whats and the hows don’t matter. All that matters is I am her daddy.   It is that simple for her.


Shouldn’t it be that simple for us and our relationship to God? I mean why do we try to make it so complicated when He is our dad. Perhaps today we just need to remember that He is our dad and run to Him screaming out his name!

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Posted by on June 13, 2014 in Family, Gospel, Life


Preaching – Jason Meyer – A Book Review

I recently read Preaching by Jason Meyer. I try to always read with a completely open mind and I did so with this book. I did not try to go in with any preconceived notions or expectations. However if I had started this book with extremely high expectations I still would have been blown away. This book completely altered the way I look at preaching through all of scripture. There are several things that leap off of the pages of this book. One is how devoted to quality exposition of God’s word that Meyer is. He loves God’s Word. He loves sharing it and teaching it. He wants others to share in this love and to be continually growing in their ability to preach God’s Word. A second thing that leaps off the pages is how committed to basing his ideas in God’s Word the author is. He backs everything with scripture and shows his points through faithful exposition of God’s Word. This makes this a book that is easy to read yet challenging. It makes this a book that everyone that is involved in teaching the Bible needs to read. I hope you will read it.

I received this book from the publisher, Crossway, for the purpose of review with no requirement to write a positive review.

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Posted by on April 8, 2014 in Book Review


Crazy Busy – Kevin DeYoung – A Book Review

I recently read Crazy Busy by Kevin DeYoung and I was glad I did.  I have tried to de-clutter and simplify my life over the past few years and I have been rather successful.  However it seems that I am still always busy.  There is work.  There are the never ending errands.  There are responsibilities at church.  There are the kids.  There is my wife.  There are things to get done at home.  There are bills to pay.  There are broken toilets to fix and walls to paint.  My car is low on coolant.  There is the ever growing do-it-yourself project list thanks to Pinterest.  This is not even to mention my spiritual walk.  I do not say all of this to say I am alone in this issue.  DeYoung, the author of this book, takes the same approach.  He does not write as one that has mastered the problem of business.  Rather he writes from a pastoral heart to help people learn how to biblically deal with the issue, just as he is also learning it.

I would encourage all of you to read this book, even if all you read is the chapter on parenting.  I would say to read it all, but I know you are probably so busy it will talk you awhile to do so.

I received this book in from the publisher, Crossway, for the purpose of review with no requirement to write a positive review.

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Posted by on February 1, 2014 in Book Review


Update on Life, Ministry, & Church Planting

Well it has been almost a year since I have sent out an update to everyone so I thought it time to finally send out an update on life, ministry and church planting.  This past fall after a time of prayer and seeking God, Stephanie and I decided to fully hit the brakes on planting Mission Stone Church in Owasso.  With that being said I now want to slightly back up and share what lead to that decision and then share what is going on in our lives and what the future may hold.

Toward the end of last summer I felt I finally had freedom to start working on the steps to planting a church in Owasso.  I started posting on social media about the church more, I met with a couple of pastors in Owasso and Stephanie and I spent some time driving through town and praying for it.  My time with the pastors I met with went well, but as I processed through them something felt off.  I could not put my finger on it at the time, but I knew God was working on me with something.  Then this past fall I had the privilege to interview for a staff position at The Journey Church in St. Louis.  God ultimately did not lead us to serve there, but through the process I was able to examine some areas of my life and see some areas of weakness and some of strength.  Through doing that I was able to see that God was leading me in a different direction than planting at this time.

I surrendered to the ministry twenty years ago this year and have been in some form of ministry the majority of time since; more unpaid roles than paid, and several part time/bivocational positions.  My time as a paid staff member I have either been part time or the only full time staff person.  It was upon prayerful reflection on this that I came to see that God was showing me that I need more seasoning at an established church.  So that is where we are as a family.

I am currently seeking a position at a church, either as an Associate Pastor with roles in educational ministry or discipleship, or as the pastor of a smaller church in a more rural setting.  I am being patient with waiting and trusting all to God.  Until he leads our family to the right position I will still be managing the Chick-fil-A in Northwest OKC and we will still be a part of Redemption Church in Edmond.

Our family is great.  I have completely rebounded from my health scare last Spring and am healthier than I have been in probably a decade.  Stephanie is well and is having an impact on her student’s lives.  Bo is a 2 and half year old bundle of energy and love.  He is growing up so fast and has such a sweet heart.  Lorelai is now walking and becoming more verbal.  She is convinced that she can do anything her brother can do and her smile can light up any room at any time.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support.  Please pray for us as we continue to trust God to lead us to the place where He has for us to serve.

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Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Life


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